Though a tad coquettish, the lady standing across the hall has been giving you ‘the eye’. Not only is she gorgeous, people around her seem enthralled by her intelligence too. The flirt in you takes over, but how do you make the first move? Hear it from Milind Soman, a connoisseur of sorts, on attracting the girl of your current dreams.
Earlier, I used to get carried away easily. While never intending to be unfaithful to my girlfriend, I would go ahead and flirt with other women. This would upset my girlfriend, but now I’ve realised that I showed complete lack of respect towards her feelings. While flirting is fun, it is best to know your own intentions because someone else’s feelings are involved. If you initiate, also know where to finally draw the line by subtly communicating your intentions to the other. Both you and your flirting partner may be in relationships. If you don’t want to jeopardise yours, the truth needs to come out. Without sounding defensive, let her know that though you are flirting, you’re well grounded in your relationship.
Slow and steady
The fun is in the anticipation, in watching how long the undercurrents last. Long chats over the internet or SMSes prior to meeting the person heighten that sense of thrill. You can’t add chronology to flirting but for starters, if you find someone attractive, start with eye contact. Be conscious of your body language and if a conversation follows, never intrude her personal space. Let things take their own course.
The only error in judgment that the other person might make is in understanding how far you will go, if the flirting takes on a sexual overtone. Erroneous judgments aren’t completely unavoidable. While the fun lies in fooling each other about what will happen next, don’t get personal. If she snubs you, a quick remedy is offering personal information, which will put her at ease because you’d seem vulnerable then. Honesty sets the power equations straight.
Alternately, if someone comes on to you too fast and makes you uncomfortable, understand her intentions. If the “transgressor” is smart with the response, trust me, it’ll only make things more interesting!
Let your eyes talk
Eye contact is the first step. It should ideally communicate only a definite appreciation of the other and tempt her to respond. At times, the language of your eyes and expressions is so telling that a conversation seems redundant. Wit and a greater understanding of each other’s minds takes flirting to another level.
Body contact follows next. But, it’s very difficult to have innocuous or non-sensual body contact. A pat on the shoulder is seemingly neutral, but it doesn’t take long to reach the woman’s hair or neck. Move ahead only when both people can handle the excitement of casual body contact. A phrase like ‘flirting with danger’ exists for obvious reasons!
Nowadays, it would not be taken amiss if you suggested you should meet again. When in a good mood, I flirt with people spontaneously. To me, flirting has no obvious or necessary sexual connotations. I can flirt with anyone; age is of no consequence because flirting is all about feeling good about yourself and attempting to mirror that feeling in others around you. Who cares about society? Life is too short. If you like somebody, show it!